I’m lonely so I do lonely things
Loving you was like going to war I never came back the same
You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood
I was wandering, the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home
You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave
I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember
I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless
It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth
I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.
We covered the smell of loss with jokes
I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents
You made the nomad in me build a house and stay
I’m not a dog
We were trying to prove our blood wrong
I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things
Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother
No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot
He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me
You were too cruel to love for a long time
It just didn’t work out
My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back
I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth
I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home
The women in my family die waiting
Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you
I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me
You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick
He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”
His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile
We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love
Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you
I’m a lover without a lover
I’m lovely and lonely
I belong deeply to myself.
Poetry By: Warsan Shire
Featured Image: Getty Images
Black Girl Diaries 